Much Ado About Nothing

Going through a rough patch of life and received the following advice: Don’t punish yourself for feeling too much. Why is this so hard?

Getting to see Christmas lights is an unconventional love language to me. Maybe it’s because it was the last experience my dad and I had before he passed. Beautiful downtown Dallas was lit up like a literal Christmas tree and as we drove through the lighted tunnels, even then, my young heart knew things were about to change. It’s an unexplainable feeling of sadness. But, today, I enjoy seeing Christmas lights, as well as long drives. Or walks. Those are lovely, too.

When I realized the impending foot surgery is quickly approaching, I decided to take every chance to run. So I ran 3 days straight. Then, I remembered that really wasn’t the best idea. Nonetheless, Garmin was pleased. I fantastically wanted to complete a 30-day run streak prior to surgery but when day 3 was incredibly rough I just didn’t have what it takes to power through, mainly because I couldn’t come up with a valid answer to that why question.

Every day, my watch is set to chime at 2pm. I call it my union break. Before, I considered it my take-a-moment break. Now I just consider walking to get coffee. More than consider. Often I find myself walking to get coffee. Around 2pm. But at least I’m moving my body!

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I ask you –

How much do you enjoy seeing Christmas lights?

Have you ever completed a run streak? For how long?

Tell me your typical “break time”.

(The post Much Ado About Nothing first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

500 Posts!

Remember my suspicions that teachers have a draft for the decision making process of which kids end up in each class? I think it’s been debunked but I’m dying on this hill.

Well, I believe there’s a draft in the workforce, too. In a conversation with McK about some employee needs, we discussed a switcheroo. My idea was like a draft because she was really trying to get the best end of the deal. haHA. So when I made her an offer, her reply was this: “That’s like trading a quarterback for a wide receiver.” Now, the humor in this is that McK (for all her sports abilities) is not the most knowledgeable about football. Her vain attempt to counteract my offer with (albeit very true) sports lingo is suspicious as I am certain she either a) attempted a shot in the dark or b) googled it. Nonetheless, I almost wanted to sweeten the deal due to her effort. But I didn’t.

In the past 500 posts, I’ve mentioned my gummies addition at least a dozen times so it’s only fitting I share my 600th daily check in. There’s been some starts and stops over the years, but my claim to fame is 8 yrs playing!

Anyway, I’ve written 500 posts on this blog. Some days I’m amazed I still find things to talk about, but if you know me then you know how much I talk so it stands to reason.

Nonetheless, thank you for continuing to read my nonsense!

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I ask you –

How many posts have you read from Running on Fumes?

Are you surprised I’m still playing Gummies?

Fantasy Footballer’s: how’s it going out there?!

(The post 500 Posts! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

You Can’t Tell Me

…that running isn’t life-changing and here’s why:

From a Life Sentence to Freedom

…that building brand new schools on the taxpayer’s dime somehow negates the time and effort put into our children at home and in the classroom. Children are miracles and deserve our best; however, if parents and teachers aren’t given the resources necessary to facilitate strong learning, then we have big problems. And, on the note of parents, if you have no intention of actually completing the school portion of the words home school, then you’re doing a gross disservice to your children. I understand disagreements with policies and procedures in the education system, but you’re going to need to devote a lot of time to your children’s learning if you intend to be the teacher.

…that connections with others don’t bring about great opportunities – like a quick conversation with a previous professor who reminded me we know a statistics guru who may be able to help with the results section of my upcoming dissertation.

…that homemade cranberry sauce isn’t at least 1,000x better than canned jelly. We got the orange and lemon ratio right this year and it was quite possibly the best cranberry sauce I’ve ever had, short of Aunt MC’s who absolutely makes the very best.

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I ask you –

Did you homeschool or were you homeschooled?

How has running been going lately?

Tell me if you like cranberry sauce or cranberry jelly best! I like each but I prefer the sauce.

(The post You Can’t Tell Me first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Mama + Mini

Nov 2023

Found these matching shirts at a yearly tradition, Hangar Holiday. Many years ago it was actually held inside a hangar but it outgrew the hangar and it was difficult to coordinate community access. Now, roughly 30,000 people congregate inside an event center and shuffle their way around 250+ booths. Oh the anxiety.

Circa May 2018

Anyway, someone recently mentioned that a blog is like a digital diary. I believe the point of the mention was to keep close your precious memories and not feel the need to share everything; however, that notion directly contradicts the entirety of a blog so here we are. Although I don’t share everything on here, I try to put the important things on paper for posterity purposes only. Righhhht. Mini still holds my hand, still says I love you at the most random times, and still shares the important goings-on in her life and I still soak them all up, even at times of complete frustration because I know these are the memories I will hold tightly to when she embarks on her own away-from-home adventures and when she no longer wants to wear matching shirts.

But that’s not today so I’ll keep sharing!

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I ask you –

Have you ever had matching shirts with a friend or child?

Do you own a diary? As a child, I did.

Tell me your thoughts on writing for posterity!

(The post Mama + Mini first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Don’t Let Me –

Something I have found incredibly irritating in the academia world is the complacency. Well, it’s in every world.

Story time.

As you may know, I’m seeking a dissertation chair so I may begin the dissertation process in 2024. The requirements are a chair and a reader (2 separate people). Thus far, I have a reader; however, in emailing and consulting with nearly a dozen professors now, I still have no chair. A chair is basically the dissertation god of one’s dissertation. The reader is like a fancy editor. Reader: check. Chair: negative. As you can imagine, I’m quite frustrated.

Back to complacency. In numerous conversations with potential chairs, I’ve received quite the feedback, but this one was the most eye rolling. The professor (mind you – he is considered an expert in his field, a phD holder, someone who professes to others on the subject of my doctoral degree) stated he had never heard of my potential subject subset. Further, he used the words “…in all my years…”. Enter complacency. My projected area of study has been around for decades; it’s not new. It’s also a simple combination of 2 well-known areas. The real issue is complacency with what “has always been done”. Granted, I’m harshly perceiving his words, but how often does it happen that someone becomes an expert and then stops actively learning? My guess is often.

To counteract my grumpiness and frustration, I got outside to enjoy some fall. Also, I was home with sick people so I needed an escape.

Don’t let me – get complacent, live for the “this is how we’ve always done it”, and forget to find fall.

Update prior to posting: I have a chair AND a reader!!!! Long story, I’ll explain later. So, now you all have to listen to me complain for the next <1.5 years about how I will manage to pull this off. But I will!

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I ask you –

What are your thoughts on complacency?

Is it feeling like fall?

Tell me some of your good news! Happy Thanksgiving, tomorrow, to all who celebrate. I will, of course, be writing and catching glimpses of the football game.

(The post Don’t Let Me – first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Semi-Dark Thoughts

I’m a firm believer in the saying “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Typically. Usually. Sometimes. But I also think the more time you’ve spent with someone, the harder it is to overcome grief. Unpopular and slightly dark opinion: as a child, losing someone you love is actually easier because you wouldn’t have spent as much time with them and there’s more of your life to process grief. However, losing someone as an adult is more difficult because a) you’ve known them longer and b) may find it more difficult to acknowledge grief.

Sometimes the dark thought of self doubt creeps in and I have a low moment of wondering what I could possibly bring to the table. For example, I had a fantastic conversation with one of my classmates and he helped me figure out some of the stats tables I’d been struggling with. As he has an accounting background, I deferred to his expertise. But, when we hung up, I wondered why would he help me and what could I possibly contribute to the remainder of our doctoral journey. I don’t need compliments, I need purpose. So, it took some time, but I realized what I’m here for: connection. Both of the classmates I’ve befriended are a result of me reaching out, forming a connection, continuing to reply and encourage because, by doing so, it encourages me. Maybe I’m no numbers whiz and maybe I struggle with the most basic of tables and figures but the table I sit at offers connection. Figures. Get it, get it.

On a related note, I made a last minute appointment to get the tattoo I’ve been brainstorming for many months now. Even designed it myself. It’s very simple, no color, and perfect for me.

From top to bottom: The coffee cup is my own personal trademark because I rarely am not drinking coffee. The semicolon is very close to my heart as it symbolizes a pause, a breath, a short break in thoughts, and is often used for suicide awareness, of which my father took his own life when I was 10. The stack of books is twofold: 1) I love to read, always have and 2) as a lifelong learner and career college student, then books made sense. Finally, the 13.1 represents my adoration for running the half marathon distance.

As an addendum, there’s still room for the word Dr. and the 26.2 below what I currently have. Upon those completions. Despite this tattoo being my most visible, I couldn’t think of a better place because of how often I look down at my Just Run bracelet so an additional reminder of the things I love and have meaning is just beautiful.

Finally, if you’re in the Wichita Falls (or DFW area), find Josh at Factory City Tattoo. By far the best conversationalist with some really fascinating personal history and connections to the Wichita Falls area. He’s the man to make all your permanent ink desires come true!

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I ask you –

Do you have any tattoos?

If so, what hurt the worst? This was comparable to a few bee stings. One of my others was a lot more painful near my hip bone.

Tell me about something in your life that’s symbolic.

(The post Semi-Dark Thoughts first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Team Things!

Occasionally we have time to sneak away from work and do fun stuff, like go bowling! And eat copious amounts of holiday food, like banana pudding. It’s been a very busy past few months so team spirit and morale-inducing activities are exactly what was needed.

It’s a major award

Returning from the work trip and diving right into a short week of activities, volleyball, mini’s dermatology requirements (for another day), and realizing Thanksgiving is right around the corner – it’s a lot. Can’t forget to mention this course I’m in that has the capacity to literally kill me. How I wish I was a numbers person and understood coefficients and correlations and some dude’s name that stands for something in statistics. Ugh. I don’t know. This professor – whom I also had the previous semester – is destroying my papers. And I still don’t have a chair – have I mentioned this debacle yet? Wait for it.

Back to the team! I’m truly thankful for the people I work with, work for, and work alongside. It’s a longstanding joke about everyone stressing me out, but, truthfully, I’m the only one who stresses me out. At least I have a team of people who keep me going.

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I ask you –

Are you a part of a work team or do you work solo?

When was the last time you went bowling?

Tell me about your Thanksgiving plans!

(The post Team Things! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Baltimore, in photos

Funny how some time alone recharges your batteries (jokes) and provides genuine reflection of your aspirations. Highly recommend!

Start ——> End

A quick work-related trip to Baltimore was exactly what this chick needed. Me. I am the chick.

A lot of pizza and beer were consumed. We walked approx 842 miles/day. We met lots of people. And we didn’t get arrested! I have dozens of other photos but I’d be here all week if I tried.

The highlight of the trip was this incredible library, the George Peabody Library, located at Johns Hopkins University. Awe inspiring. I truly have no words to convey how amazing it was.

Below I’ve listed and linked some of the places we patronized. Baltimore, you were amazing!

The Horse You Came In On Saloon – oldest operating saloon in America; said to be the final place Edgar Allan Poe was seen at before his death

Thames Street Oyster House – where we ate raw oysters and McK had her very first lobster roll

Lexington Market – originally, we went inside to locate Faidley’s Seafood; however, they were under renovation but their other location is only a block away so we went there instead (see second group of photos, top right). Eventually, we returned to the Market and purchased sweet treats from Market Bakery which is well-known for their Berger cookies. And now for the snickerdoodle cheesecake.

Pub Dog – best pizza, beer, and service in all of Baltimore, in my humble opinion. Of course, the company makes it the best and we befriended an incredible, beautiful lady, KJ.

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I ask you –

Have you ever been to Baltimore? Thoughts?

Are you interested in old libraries?

Tell me something you look for when visiting new places!

(The post Baltimore, in photos first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Re-Post: I’m Moving!

Second and final repost of the week. Seems fitting to decide this one because I’m coming up on my 1 yr anniversary with the new role. What a ride. On the bright side, I’ve managed to keep old friends, make new ones, inherit a wingwoman of incredibleness, and not get fired! All good reasons for celebration! Enjoy! -Kel

Buildings. I’m moving buildings. But I have a great reason!

I guess the powers that be in a lovely organization with the ability to make or break one’s career opportunities finally came around to my brand of willpower. More drama. In other words, I got the job.

Donuts and fitness. You know the joke .

I’m leaving the command team to go supervise a gym. Again. Sure, this gym is a federal entity but beyond not having to sell memberships it really is the same as other gyms I’ve managed… if you count hundreds of uniform-clad people parading in and out on their quest to become powerlifters. I swear it’s not a prison. Nonetheless, this process to further my career and pay grade has taken over 2 1/2 years, but I’m thankful someone took a chance on me in the beginning. Fully realizing my leadership style is not for everyone, I do want to see our fitness centers succeed and grow. There will be growing pains. There will be some frustrations. But I’m nothing if not up for a challenge.

By the time I move positions, I should have just returned from my out of state trip which is still useful in my new position because resiliency is necessary everywhere. And I sincerely want to teach these concepts to my employees. Hopefully there will be some fitness expo trips in the near future to enhance my understanding.

Sure, there’s a lot on my plate right now but this has been a long time coming. Here we go again!

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I ask you –

Do you want to take a donut tour in New Orleans with me?

What are my chances of being back in the gym and finding my running motivation again?

Tell me how full your plate is. Let me commiserate with you!

(The post I’m Moving! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Where do we go from here?

Kel, it can’t always be everyone else. Sometimes…it’s you.

Remember when (probably last week) I mentioned it had been the 2nd time someone scraped their tire against the front panel of my car? Well, upon the 3rd incident, I decided to reexamine the situation. It was me. Turns out – pun intended – when I pull into the garage, I’m cutting the angle a little too close and touching the garage panel. Whoopsies.

Incident #2

Typically I don’t share a lot on here that’s incredibly vulnerable and personal. Mostly I try to keep it positive yet self-deprecating because that’s funny to me; however, lately, for whatever reason, I was considering things I regret from a generalized perspective. And, I believe my biggest regret is how I was not there for my best friend when she needed me most. We’d been through so much together yet I bailed when all she wanted was acceptance. And I bailed at a critically horrible time in her life, when she was dealing with a medical crisis. As far as regrets, that’s definitely the biggest, almost unforgivable one I can think of. Others might disagree. If there’s ever a time when I can say it can’t always be everyone else, that time … It was all me. Occasionally we reach out to each other but it will never be the same. I hurt her. In a matter of minutes, I lost every ounce of trust she had ever placed in me. Rebuilding it might take forever. There’s no funny ending to this piece of information and it’s sad still.

But what isn’t sad yet is still applicable to everyone is the year I’ve had so far. I don’t love recognition from a large, well lit stage. Really, I want my team to be recognized for their contributions to my success because I wouldn’t be here without them. So, I would say to them, it isn’t everyone else, it’s you. And all of the you’s make it worth it.

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I ask you –

Have you ever thought something was happening to you that wasn’t your fault?

Any advice for regaining trust in a long-term friendship?

Tell me about your successes!

(The post Where do we go from here? first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)