Eggs and Butterflies

Couldn’t have taken a better photo myself!

I’ve had a breakthrough of proportions even I cannot fully fathom. It’s that touchy-feely stuff society says we shouldn’t address in mixed company; to be kept behind closed doors. Just this morning I turned a broken egg into a butterfly.

I envision mine scattered along a tile floor, but hay works, too

Beyond science, this probably isn’t possible. Metaphorically, anything is possible! And when you give someone the power to change their own life, impossible begins to mean you just haven’t had success yet. Not yet. And this is how I created butterflies from cracked eggs.

Mental imagery is important. Much like the internal jukebox always playing a catchy tune, what we see in our own minds defines us. A Rorschach Ink Blot of the subconscious, if you will. Providing someone tools to deal with life’s nuances is a gift of the few. I’m always amazed at how easy it is to solve another’s problems without taking a realistic look at our own. Raising my hand high. On a never ending path to self-discovery, compassion, forgiveness, boundaries, and self love are just a few stepping stones.

While driving home just last night, I began a popular audio book, Girl, Wash Your Face. As told by the author, this is her story of overcoming feelings of not being good enough not only in her marriage and personal life, but also as a mother. She immerses herself into work because that’s where she feels her true success and accomplishments lie. 3 chapters in I quickly realized she gets me! You mean I’m not alone?!? Clearly not because this book is now a bestseller. You may recognize another of her books, titled Girl, Stop Apologizing. Next on my list.

Ok, we get it, Kel; but what does all this mean? And where are the butterflies? In short, the butterflies are what you’re letting go of. Be it negativity, heartache, trauma, or the young person you once were; it must be examined, forgiven, and transformed. You don’t have all the answers. You’re not expected to! The only person expecting you to know everything is you. It’s ok when you don’t. Join the club. Health and wellness are more than what the scale tells you, more than how much you can lift, more than the miles you traverse in your favorite running shoes, more than the calories consumed. Being “well” is all parts of you functioning on the same level for the long term. It’s asking for help…being as compassionate to yourself as you are to your best friend…falling apart and picking the pieces back up.

I picked up an almost broken egg from an egg carton, placed it in my special box, and butterflies flew out. No, I’m not having a mental break. I’m turning the pages oh-so-slowly between a strong body and a strong mind. A quiet mind. One where I understand how unstoppable I am. There will be more eggs in varying stages of crackedness I must address. It’s tough saying goodbye to what we’ve known for so long; however, for now, I will relish in my ability to simply let go.

Add a touch more yellow to my butterfly – much like a Transformer

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I ask you –

Favorite metaphors?

Do you even eat eggs?

Thoughts on the difficulty of merging body and mind?

Nutrition and That Scary “D” Word

You know what I think of every time I see someone step on the scale? Of course you want to know! I think about rushing over to them to say the scale is broken and you’re reading it wrong. It really says “STRONG”. It doesn’t state a number. It says “STRONG”. Nothing more, nothing less. When Munchkin steps on the bathroom scale and asks me what it says, I tell her “strong”. Proud Mama moment: when she asked me to get on the scale and she proudly proclaimed it too said “strong”, then she said we were the same. You’re right, my baby love. We are the same. And we are STRONG!

D.I.E.T. aka the scary D word. According to Merriam-Webster (the word definition guru), a diet is “the kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats”. I prefer to disregard the verb ‘dieting’ or similar terminology like ‘going on a diet’. What I eat every day is my diet. It’s not something I go on or complete.

Especially for females, the pressure is high to live our lives according to a number – either on the scale or a size category of clothing. However, men are not immune to this thought process. Value is placed on how big or small we are perceived or even perceive ourselves. It makes it difficult to raise an impressionable young Munchkin. I read an article about a mother who didn’t know what to say when her daughter loudly proclaimed someone was fat. The young mother did the best she could in saying everyone has fat, but it doesn’t mean someone is fat. Body positivity starts so early. I won’t dwell on the issues of body shaming because I also believe in sticks and stones but our tiny humans deserve a life free of insecurity based on something that can’t be controlled. Run free, boys and girls! Enjoy your boundless energy. I’ll just be over here sulking. And tired.

Nutrition requires one to navigate the roller coaster known as balance. 70/30. 80/20. Pick a balance that works for you. 70-80% of your time should be healthy choices so that 20-30% of the time you can enjoy life. Birthday cake happens. Did I mention I love cake? Eating out with friends happens. It’s perfectly normal and expected! Live your life! Just know tomorrow will be here before you know it. That’s when it is time to step back on the wagon. Tomorrow will come. Who’s idea was that anyway?!

You know what’s funny about the photo above? 1) I accidentally brought Munchkin’s knife with me. You know, the one with no sharp end and an extra short handle. That knife. 2) It looks picturesque…but it’s a lie. What you don’t see is the pizza I had for lunch. I’m sharing with you the healthy meal of the day, not the one where I threw caution to the wind.

Balance, remember?

We’re going to live our lives the only way we know how: by putting one foot in front of the other. No one said it would be easy. Where’s that manual they said would come with my life? Has anyone seen it? Each day, I do my best to find a balance between a previously unhealthy relationship with the scale and food and making sure life doesn’t get in the way of having fun. Ultimately, food should be fun!

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I ask you –

What’s your honest opinion of living a life of balance? Is it attainable or a fairy tale?

What did your last meal consist of?

Any ideas on how to cut chicken with a dull knife?

Connection of Compassion

Compassion can be found anywhere

Recently, I had a powerful conversation with a very important woman in my life. The discussion centered on self-compassion and finding forgiveness. We also touched upon the saying “no one sin is worse than another”. Not to worry, I won’t be delving into religion on this blog, because religion starts wars and I’m not much for confrontation.

As life is not black and white, I’m truly a master of shockery here, aren’t I?, it is more than fitting we find the connection between our emotional selves and our physical selves. There will be times when your world is turned upside down and finding time for yourself is a puzzle of a million pieces. Lately it’s been like this for me, too. At one point I realized I couldn’t remember the last meal I’d eaten, but I knew for sure it was more than 24 hours ago. You see, it’s too easy for me to fall into a pattern of forgetting to take care of myself. One more task leads to another…another…and here we start a cycle of behavior. Will you catch me saying no I can’t take on another task? Of course not; and that’s my downfall.

I want to work out today. I’ve had this great leg workout planned for days and bouncing between two clubs, both Las Colinas and Roanoke, has been hard mentally. My mind drifts to all the things I need to be doing: paperwork, update something, call people, etc. Juggling tasks comes easy. Adding myself in there does not. So here I am, tea and almonds beside me, snacking to alleviate the hunger issue and typing to enjoy me time. Writing is obviously me time. And I get paid to do it. Win!

one of THOSE weeks

Compassion is finding forgiveness and understanding not only in others but also in yourself. Bad days happen. Here is where it gets a little gray. How do we forgive ourselves for not completing the proverbial self to-do list? I really don’t have that answer. Pardon me for letting you down. Truthfully, I’m still finding it out on my own. Today’s fantastically planned leg workout may not happen. I have to accept that and make plans for tomorrow or the next day or even Monday. Practice compassion, Kel. The woman I mentioned above said it will come easier the more I practice forgiving myself. Today…I may have to accept not getting it all done. That workout will still be waiting for me tomorrow. Anytime Fitness is 24/7 for me. There’s a constant in this life we can always count on: change.

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I ask you –

Do you struggle making time for yourself?

What often gets pushed off your own to-do list?

Advice for those of us struggling to make time for ourselves?

Music and Curse Words (maybe together…maybe not)

All the best medical journals swear by cursing. See what I did there. Hilarious, Kel! But I’m serious. Did you know there are health benefits to cursing? Although I can’t advocate cursing in a professional atmosphere, there is a time and place to successfully incorporate cursing into your life. If you so choose. I do choose!

Perhaps surprisingly cursing may be responsible for pain relief: a very real aspect of creative language. According to some medical professionals, swearing activates the fight or flight reflex which dulls our pain receptors. However, before you go around swearing up a storm, there is one caveat to the pain relief effects. Those who swear regularly become desensitized to the words used; therefore, true pain relief benefits are mostly noticed in those who don’t curse much, if at all. Well d**n. I still believe in mind over matter though so I will continue to believe this works and use curse words strategically in my conversations. Not to worry, boss, I am a well-controlled curser.

Next topic: Music.

Researchers have found listening to fast-paced music can increase a runner’s ability to complete a run. Music also benefits brain receptors in those dealing with depression and stress and sleep issues. There’s even music therapy as a tool for pain management! Music is literally the soundtrack of our very lives. Haha see, I did it again! Think back to any moment in your life. Most likely you’ll be able to correlate a particular song, beat, or tune to that event. There’s a reason break up playlists exist. Turn on the radio and you can quickly identify an event in your life that corresponds to a song. A previous co-worker describes it as a “jukebox in her head”. It rotates not by how many quarters you insert, but by what’s going on at the moment.

Interestingly, a name does exist for when a song is on repeat in your mind. Earworms. Yes, that’s the fancy word for it; no, I did not make it up. The scientific term is Involuntary Musical Imagery (INMI). Some believe it is essentially our brain singing. Don’t tell me you don’t think that isn’t cool. Related, the most common type of personality to get earworms are those who exhibit neurotic and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Joke’s on you!

What my mind looks like – jumbled pages of music

So where does all this leave us? With this gem –

Listening to music with curse words in it or songs that make us curse (not in an aggressive way) must be the next big hit! 3rd time in a blog post – Kel, wow! Soon enough I’ll have some extra letters behind my name and this will be my starring role! I invented the premise behind all health and wellness by giving the advice of listening to songs that make us swear. Ta-Da!

According to my co-workers and members, these songs are easiest to get stuck in your jukebox, just based on one line: remember to sing these as you read through so we don’t suffer alone

I would walk 500 miles!

What is love?

Shot through the heart!

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I ask you this –

Are you plagued by earworms?

Do you overall enjoy faster or slower-paced music?

Cursing – yes or no?

Why Do I Need That?

Clearly not my bag – it’s not large enough

What’s in your gym bag? Please tell me you read that line in the Capital One commercial voice. The must haves. The essentials. The stuff. Ugh. All the stuff. Do you really need anything in your bag? Do you need a bag at all? In short, yes, but there’s much more to it.

An often overlooked first tip is finding the right gym bag. Breathable materials allow odors to mix with fresh air preventing the mildew-y smell of nightmares. And if your bag is washable then problem solved! Manager tip: place a few dryer sheets in the bottom of your bag to keep it smelling nice. Adjustable shoulder straps, as well as number of pockets, are also good to examine.

Basic gym bag essentials range from the common…hello, deodorant….to the indulgent…roller ball, anyone? I’m not judging. There were times in the Navy when I had to choose between sleep or a shower. It seemed my division was much more cooperative when I’d slept so that should answer your question. Here’s a rundown of the most useful items to bring to the gym –

Towel – NECESSITY. PLEASE!
Flip Flops – do I really have to explain why shower shoes are necessary?
Dry Shampoo – because a Hollywood shower in a gym bathroom is rude
Hand Sanitizer – did you know your hands harbor more bacteria than a public toilet seat?
Hair Thingies – this is a scientific term, trust me
Deodorant – travel size is available, but regular size is cheaper
Face Wipes – an effective substitute for a shower
Socks – for some reason, dry feet have the power to make or break your entire day
Snacks – munchkin will be 25 yrs old, moved out, and have her own family and I’ll still carry around snacks because you just never know
Water Bottle – ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY! Go green, people. You’re always telling me you recycle, so why do I keep finding plastic bottles in the regular trashcans versus the blue recycling container? Hmmmm

Obviously this is a short list. SHORT?! It can be as extravagant or as minimal as you desire.

As you can see in the photo above, I have many of the items from the list. There’s also unmentionables and random sticky notes for stuff I was trying to remember. You just never know when a good idea will hit!

I think of a gym bag much like a diaper bag. There will be times when it’s not necessary. Then there will be other times when you wish there was a department store inside it. I envision a Mary Poppins-style scenario. Umbrella, anyone?

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I ask you –

What’s in your bag?

Name one thing at the gym you can’t live without.

Advice for a gym bag carrier?

Body after Baby

Do you have young children? Infants? Toddlers? Or are your children in their teens, twenties, grown up and moved away? Do you keep telling yourself it’s time to get rid of the baby weight?

Boy do I have good news for you!

The answers to all your problems is in this little bottle! Vitameatavegamin! – huge I Love Lucy fan, check out “Lucy Does a TV Commercial” for the reason why 10% alcohol in a bottle of health supplements is a BAD idea. Find it at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcZ9JZZRWM0

Truthfully, it doesn’t matter how old your children are – there is a never a better time to begin focusing on you than now. Right. Now. Yesterday has come and gone. But today is still an option! Tomorrow is a close second.

Some ladies will find it easier than others to get back in the gym, workout from home, balance motherhood with a new human you’re responsible for caring for until…whenever. And the rest of us? Hahahahaha! What is this balance you speak of? Munchkin is 3 and I think I just now got it kinda worked out! Way to go, Kel! Aside from your own internal cheering squad, it may be a long time (ahem, years; a decade even) before you come to the startling conclusion you are still in there, under the skin and muscle and bone, and maybe you’re pleased with the results you’ve attained. Or you may not recognize her at all. That’s ok! You’re doing a great job, Mama!

Fact: it can take up to 8 full weeks for your hormones to return to “normal” levels post-childbirth. Other fact: it could potentially be 18 years before the previous fact is accepted as fact. Maybe longer. I’m just guessing. So even if it’s been awhile since your baby wore diapers, the hormone swings can affect you just as much now as then.

Let’s talk about menopause. This must be everyone’s favorite subject, right? Perimenopause can occur as early as your mid-to-late 30’s. Oh great! The hormonal shifts during this time vary erratically and can affect your ability to lose weight, build muscle, and not yell at the dog. Many women complain of short-term memory problems or difficulty concentrating during this transition, too. Haha you thought it ended after you gave birth? Good try! Wait. Did it end? I can’t remember. My point, which I don’t entirely remember at this moment, is that your body will go through many changes post-baby. From pregnancy to birth, from postpartum to menopause, your body is constantly adjusting to shifts in weight, balance, and hormones – all responsible for how well (or not) you’re able to shape the body you have, as well as deal with stress. Final fact: Exercise is widely known to increase overall health and a sense of well-being. It positively affects your endorphins, the brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters. And feeling good is our goal!

In the meantime, let us help you get moving toward your goals. Be it weight loss, muscle-building, or training for an event, we’re here to help. I’ll even provide comedic relief when the sweat drips in your eyes and you fear blindness.

No one said it would be easy. Either category you’ve found yourself in, you’ve come to the right place. I feel your pain. I feel your disappointment. I feel your jaded hope. I also feel how you’re ready to change your life. I will be with you each step of the way. Note: if you’re one of the lucky few who have it all figured out, teach me your ways!

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I ask you –

How old are your children?

Fun fact: I’m a twin. There’s 2 of me! Any of you have twins in your family? Triplets? Quads?!

Have any advice for those experiencing perimenopause? You know, so I can be even more terrified than I am already.

Runner’s High

I think running gets an unfairly bad rap. My good friends at Brooks Sports aka Brooks Running say running can significantly improve physical and mental health.

They aren’t wrong. As someone who battles anxiety, specifically postpartum anxiety and depression (post forthcoming on the subject), running has changed the way I think, move, and breathe. Because breathing is pretty important, right?

Meet my awesome best friend, Lady Treadmill

Naysayers will purport running is bad for your knees. “You’ll burn out your joints, kid!” Tell me this: if it’s so bad, then why do we encourage children to do it? Sure, some people should not be out there running. For some, it can exacerbate issues they already have. But as a whole – running is good. Cardio is good for the body and heart. With a propensity for our population to be facing heart and health issues, perhaps running could alleviate some of our weight control problems. Just a thought.

20-25 minutes. That’s the magic number for runners to begin feeling euphoria. On average, I run 45-60 mins/day. I should be so euphoric you have to pull me down from the clouds!

Alas, it’s not that easy.

Norfolk Harbor Half Marathon, November 2018 – a new PR

Aside from the above photo, in which I ran a PR (personal record) of 13.1 miles in 2:28 (that’s 2 hours and 28 minutes), running can be tough! One training cycle after another really burns you out after an extended period of time. Recovery is just as important as training. Where was I going with this? Oh yes, euphoria!

A study in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology finds that even five to 10 minutes a day of low-intensity running is enough to extend life by several years, compared with not running at all. It shows that the minimal healthy “dose” of exercise is smaller than many people might assume.
https://www.health.harvard.edu

Did you read that correctly?! Several years! At 5-10 mins per day?! It takes me that long to make a cup of coffee (threenagerhood makes everything take infinitely longer). Do you have to run a half marathon or 10k to benefit? Absolutely not.

But if you want to run a half marathon and need a coach, training cycle planner, or race manager, I’m your girl!

I’ll leave you with one last item. See those smiles in the photo below? That’s a half marathon smile. Are you ready to run with me? I promise I’m slow. And I walk sometimes. And I have trouble maintaining a solid nutrition plan. But I get out there and run because I can. Some people never have this opportunity.

Kelly (left) Mo-Money Mo Tacos (right): Pre-Race Photo Op

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I ask you –

Have you run a 5k, 10k, Half Marathon, or Marathon? Share your stories with us!

Which distance do you find the most challenging? Why?

Do you enjoy training in a group setting or solo?

Most Important Hour of the Day

Affectionately known as Power Hour. Or Golden Hour. Or anything remotely resembling the first hour of your day.

To clarify, I don’t mean the first hour of your workday or of your workout. I simply mean the very first hour you become conscious upon waking up from whatever sleep you did or didn’t receive last night.

The reasoning behind this label of most important is because what you do within this hour sets the tone for your entire day. Many business professionals and successful entrepreneurs swear by a tried-and-true routine each day, including weekends. Often it takes the form of re-hydration, mindfulness, and exercise.

Personally, I enjoy a cup of coffee and a good book while stretched across two dining chairs and repeating the mantra “munchkin, please don’t wake up before I’m 3/4 into this cup”. Sometimes I make it through the whole mug, sometimes I get whispered pleas to share said coffee. Hey, you do whatever works for you!

So why is it important to devote an hour to you?

…because no one else will. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. You can wish, hope, and think yourself into setting a power hour chock full of good intentions, but it means absolutely nothing if you won’t commit to it.

Start simple. Fill up your reusable water bottle (think green, folks; plastic bottles are senseless; please remember not to freeze glass bottles unless you like digging through your freezer with a vacuum attachment looking for shards that somehow eerily resemble ice chips, not that I’ve ever had to deal with a similar situation). Find a notebook and pen (stop. I know everything is digital now; get over it. you need a real piece of paper and an ink pen. that stylus won’t work here). Seek out a quiet place (nope, try again, the local coffee shop doesn’t count. those places are louder than an airport).

Do you see where I’m going with this? Get out of your head and into your head. Put your thoughts on paper – goals, worries, daydreams, whatever it is that makes you think. This isn’t the time for a to-do list. Save that for when your boss is paying you to work (to my boss: I don’t practice what I preach so we’re safe).

Each day update what you did in the days prior. Or don’t! This is your time to reflect. If you stand by ‘the past is in the past’, then good for you. But if you need to see what you’ve written make forward progression, then good for you, too. No one asks to see your notes. Make this about YOU.

And once 60 minutes have been reached, begin your day with a little more space available in your overflowing mind. Kick ass.

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I ask you –

Do you have a goal for completing your power hour? Twice a week? 7 days a week?

At what age did you realize self-care was important?

Share your routine with us!