Coming out of the fog

Probably not a fully accurate title because, hello, brain fog. Although I do think it has gotten better. I’ve found if I pause a second longer and try not to be too hard on myself, then the full sentence comes with less effort. I’m also considering just acting as if I don’t know the English word by asking ¿Como se dice….(Insert thrown together syllables with a mild Spanish accent) in English? Really butcher both languages so everyone is as confused as your mental wiring.

What was the point? Oh right, Kel. The fog. It is a new feeling being fully present for mini’s return to school. I feel as if I unintentionally missed many small details due to being engrossed in my own academic journey. This is the first year in 3 I have not been navigating school when mini started back. Sadly, I don’t think I enjoyed her excitement as much as I could/should have previously because I was stressed about my own.

4th grade

On the drive to school, I asked mini what she wanted to be for Halloween. She was just as surprised as I was considering an event so far down the road pun intended. Last year, I couldn’t fathom anything beyond the following week. Now look at me! My mind was already in October!

Also, the brain vitamins sucked. Nothing new beyond a possible, mild placebo effect. Guess I have to do this brain fog thing au naturel. Copious lists and como se dice’s.

_____________________

I ask you –

How is the brain fog treating you? Or do we just call it forgetfulness and attribute it to old age?

(The post Coming out of the fog first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

I’m Just Here for the Nonsense

Mini is headed back to school! When did school supplies cost $100?!

The Week Junior

From a magazine subscription – the more we teach our children about civics, the more able they are to be informed members of society. Minus the misinformation part of society.

Why make plans and submit calendar dates when someone will color outside the lines and get what they want, upending all your plans. Still a bit heated.

Final thought: High Will, Low Skill, i.e., someone who is willing and teachable yet lacks the current skill level to perform above the minimum. Other iterations: low will, no skill. For example, my running motivation lately.

___________________

I ask you –

What nonsense have you encountered lately?

(The post I’m Just Here for the Nonsense first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Re-post!!! Did we make it?

By the time you read this, I’ll officially be on vacation numero uno. Enjoy this fun re-post.

From the archives, dated 15 April 2024-

I considered not even prepping this post in case the Eclipse of 2024 turned into Apocalypse 2024. Alas, I like to be prepared. Just in case, you know.

But if I didn’t write this post, you wouldn’t be entertained with the most ridiculous photos of my whackadooness. Out of everyone enjoying the eclipse, I think I had the most fun. And definitely got the most compliments for my headwear!

I also have an 8 yr old now. When did this happen? Now, she asks hard questions and is a mini gremlin upon wakeup. Not unlike age 7. I just want her hands to always stay this small.

Alas, the volleyball season has come to an end (for our team anyway). The official record is 4-4, which isn’t bad in my book. Sure, we beat ourselves up several times and missed a few easy volleys but, personally, I made it out alive so that’s a win! One teammate wasn’t so fortunate; he suffered an ankle fracture early season. If all I had was bruises of varying degrees and a heavy reliance on ibuprofen and heating pads – meh.

Definitely worth it. But maybe next time I’ll just coach.

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I ask you –

Did you check out the eclipse? Better question, who didn’t?

What do you think of my hat-making skills?!

Tell me how old you’ll be at the next eclipse! Just add 20.

(The post Did we make it? first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Fighting the good fight

Today, the day got the best of me. I felt no emotion in a situation where I probably should have. I know it was there before. But today? No dice.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/5-criteria-exceptional-work-ethic-april-donovan

Occasionally I attend self-care and self-help type presentations. Or I give them. Something I like to mention are the effects of mental load. Most people are familiar with Newton’s something or other law about pressure and load and force, etc. The same applies to humans. The mental load of caring for, disciplining, and explaining life to other humans is remarkably taxing on the mind.

For example, making a grocery list. First, come up with meal ideas. Then, write those down. Next, consider what ingredients to purchase for those meals. But, first, find out what ingredients are already on hand. Scratch out, rewrite, repeat. This is a smaller mental load than, for example, disciplining employees. It’s no wonder the Facebook guru dude only wears blue shirts and jeans. Less mental load!

https://neurosciencenews.com/moms-mental-load-28244/

Before any other parents or parenting partners get their feelings hurt (I do the laundry, I cook!), yes, typically, mothers carry the heaviest mental load. Maybe it’s by default, maybe it’s the natural order of life, I’m not a doctor of that stuff. What I can say is the stress of being responsible for child-related tasks is more of a motherly duty.

All this to make a point about mental load in the workplace, especially for those with supervisory roles, balancing employees’ needs with the mission’s needs. Some days I offer feedback to adults acting like children, and some days I escape the day unscathed, with most of my sanity still intact. And on the roughest days, no matter the dazed and confused look I carry for hours, the next day brings renewed joy and hope to fight the good fight.

Some people are caretakers. Some are takers. The mental load finds balance where it can.

_________________

I ask you –

Before this post, had you heard of mental load?

How often do you consider the load of mundane tasks?

Which are you: caretaker or taker.

(The post Fighting the good fight first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Less Graffiti, More Greeting Cards

The title of this post is admittedly paraphrased from a radio show host who shared a sweet phrase she saw graffiti’d on a building: “It only takes a second to tell someone something beautiful”. Obviously, the radio host indicated graffiti is vandalism, but it made me wonder why not greeting cards? Why not share inspirational quotes and phrases, lick the envelope, and send it on its way? How much are stamps? Probably less than defacing public property charges.

Did you know commercial greeting cards originated in 1860? Me neither.

The several cards received. (not pictured)

_________________

I ask you –

I doubt many will answer, but have you ever grafitti’d something?

Do you send greeting cards?

Effective 13 July 2025, postage stamp prices will increase to $0.78.

(The post Less Graffiti, More Greeting Cards first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Authorship

I’m officially published!

You can read the full dissertation here: Immigration Federalism in the United States: Texas Case Studies. The next step is distributing the publication to the cities who participated in order to a) make good on my promise to share and b) hopefully produce valued change. Although only one of those is within my power, I’ll soon be applying for adjunct professor positions in hopes to share my knowledge of the policies and systems in place within local Texas communities. To say I’m humbled is still an understatement. Some days I am in disbelief my PhD journey has ended. While I continue to cheer on my friends who are deep in the throes of their own doctoral journey, I want to forever remain a valuable contributor to higher education.

The bound work arrived in the mail – all 6+ lbs of it. 6 POUNDS! It looks like it belongs in the Library of Congress, so said my spouse. If all else fails, I’ve created a massive paperweight.

This is also mini’s first year taking the standardized tests of all public schools. Right, wrong, or indifferent, I believe testing has a purpose yet after the anxiety-ridden day I experienced for her first of two tests, I’m beginning to believe and finally fully understand testing is even more difficult for the parents! At the time of this posting, she will have finished both tests and is officially free and clear to enjoy the final weeks of her school year. Then, we can do it again next year! When mini asked how many tests she’ll take in her life, I stated she would be continually tested…and tested. Tis the circle of life.

———————–

I ask you –

Do you experience test anxiety or discomfort?

What advice would you give a young student?

Tell me your most difficult test.

(The post Authorship first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Let’s Talk About It

Bonus points for the Good Mythical Morning reference.

On this blog, I’ve talked about pregnancy, postpartum issues, perimenopause things, and a whole lot of other stuff.

We haven’t talked about menstrual cycle-related cravings. We’re about to!

I don’t know about other women, as I’m only one, small blessings, but 7-10 days prior to my cycle, I crave chocolate like it will never be there for me ever again. And, somehow, my 39 yr old body has now discovered the joy that is peanut butter and chocolate. Together. Big shocker. From no bake cookies to no bake fudge to Lindt truffles to huge chunks of dark chocolate, there are no boundaries. And the longer I deny the craving, the worse it gets. I once woke up in the middle of the night to raid the cupboard for chocolate.

Of course, chocolate has all the feel good properties of illicit drugs, at least that’s how it’s perceived by our human brains. But the origin of a craving is bizarre. Most research points to fluctuating hormone levels as the cause behind what we know as a craving, commonly for sweet or salty snacks.

Cravings are selective and intense, meaning the desire for a specific substance is overwhelming. Even the most trusted self help literature falls short of tried-and-true ways to overcome a craving. Nonetheless, I’ve lived with them for this long, what’s 50 years more.

Finally, I like to play a fun game affectionately titled why do my boobs hurt today? Running in an ill-fitting sports bra? Possibly. PMS symptom? Most likely. It’s always a blast around here, lemme tell ya’.

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I ask you –

Do you like chocolate and peanut butter together?

What fun game do you like to play?

Name your oddest craving!

(The post Let’s Talk About It first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Pretending

Name that tune.

If I don’t start doing things with my life, I may be forced to research blog topics to keep this one going.

Name something you pretend to like! I really struggled with this question. The two people I asked upon hearing the question were met with resounding answers: a specific person, and their job. Definitely answers.

Even at this moment, I haven’t come up with an answer. I’m loving hearing others’, just haven’t come up with my own.

The photo below is an indicator of what goes on behind closed doors, aka Parts taking a math test. For 4 hours!

Other things –

Spent some time in the dark last week due to a power outage so I ate my standard salad in the fitness center lobby with my feet propped up. Glorious break.

There’s a nearby home with both a for sale sign and a garage sale sign out front. I’ve often wondered what the inside looks like. Bonus points for the continual police presence. Finally got my chance to poke around indoors – beautiful high ceilings, missing carpet, and a borderline hoarding issue. Hopefully someone rich will renovate it with an open-to-the-public invite. Nosy.

_________________

I ask you –

How long have you ever been without power? 23 days. Yes. Really.

Any guesses on Parts’ math test grade? Hint: it wasn’t pretty.

Name something you pretend to like!

(The post Pretending first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

What to do now

In my unlimited extra time post-PhD, I’ve included a near daily yoga session into my morning routine. I feel amazing and I’ve almost mastered feet to knees.

Then there’s volleyball up to 3x a week. Sure, we haven’t won a single game but the fun levels of this team I am grateful to coach is unmatched. Off the charts…but not our scores.

I planned a skating party for my 9 year old. She was an infant yesterday. I don’t understand how this is happening. Spare Parts will be a grandma at the end of the summer while I have a 9 yr old. Still makes me laugh.

I’ve been researching adjunct professor positions; there’s a few leads. For now, I’m working through the process of publishing my dissertation to the university and public databases. I’ve also looked into some think tank-type work to impact immigration legislation. Policymaker stuff is my forte.

The comfy corner came together nicely. Mini reads her books there at night while I hoard the space in the early morning hours. My wake up time has only shifted by 30-60 mins yet somehow those precious minutes make all the difference in my rest levels. Most days, I’m a new person!

As time passes, I’m sure it will fill with other responsibilities, requirements, or space takers. No need to hurry.

———————–

I ask you –

After completing something which took a large portion of your time, how did you fill the space?

When did you last plan a birthday party?

Share your wakeup time! 0500

(The post What to do now first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Questionable Encounters

One night, whilst mini was supposed to be going to sleep, she suddenly became the wizard of past bygones. As she mumbled on and on about her dislike for some unintelligible classmate who had annoyed her that day, she turned the tables on me. “Mama, did you ever have someone in school who annoyed you?” Unwilling to name anyone from my childhood, I casually deflected to a generalized answer about how I was sure this happened to me at least once. The resulting dialogue ensued-

Mini: Mama, I ask Papa and Daddy these questions and they tell me who it was. Like, Terry stole my lunch money and Jon/Joe/Dean was really annoying. You never tell me what happened!

Me: (again, unwilling to name someone with whom I had a poor encounter with over 20 years ago) Honey, I don’t remember the names of all the people who annoyed me a long time ago. I’ve just forgotten.

Mini: (now animated and definitely not going to sleep) How can you forget?! These are the people who annoyed you! I remember everyone who annoys me! (…so says the girl who can’t “remember” to brush her teeth every day)

To think I have a PhD and still exhibit the eternal sigh of weariness. She exhausts me.

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I ask you –

Does your child(ren) ask questions like this?

Can you name specific individuals from your childhood who annoyed you?

Someone once argued with me about women being wizards. The person said only men could be wizards. Is this true? Why?

(The post Questionable Encounters first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)