Always the Dramatics

I knew that the short 7 day reprieve from coursework would fly by, so I gave myself something every day to look forward to, something just for me. Besides, what’s a moment compared to the avg 3 hrs/day I typically spend on schoolwork, right?

First day, I found this: “Half of the battle of anxiety is realizing when you’re entering the battle. This is mainly because our fears and insecurities feel so true. We tend to go along with whatever pops into our heads.”

Days 2-7 didn’t go according to plan. What did I do for myself these days? I survived because it never, ever, ever fails that my body ditches all common sense during a break and caves to sickness. Sure, it was just a head cold meets some seasonal allergies but I was convinced this might be the end. I didn’t even run for a few days! Then, the meds worked wonders and I was back at it.

Finally, on the newest episode of “Where Did These Bruises Come From?!”, twice-a-week volleyball is kicking my butt. And hands. And knees. Seriously, every time I shower I find a new discoloration and/or painful area. But is it worthwhile? Absolutely not. I mean … of course it is!

______________

I ask you –

Do you battle anxiety or anxious thoughts?

Have you been struggling with allergies, too?

On a scale of 1 to holy crap you need to chill out, tell me how dramatic you are! 12.

(The post Always the Dramatics first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Labels

As a writer, a person really, it’s imperative that sometimes I show vulnerability. Or at least admit to it. But as a logical adult, it can be very uncomfortable to share with anyone, let alone the virtual universe, any issues related to medical or mental health, or even family stuff. Seeing as how I’ve been doing it for almost 4 years now, I’m pretty proud of the accomplishment.

All that being said – I take a medication with the label that reads “…for depression.” Every time I see that label, the emotions pour in. I’m not depressed. I struggle with a few things. Some days are better than others. My brain knows there’s a chemical balance that got a little wonky over the years because life happens. Not to mention the childhood disasters. Nonetheless, I don’t consider myself depressed. Again, I’m not depressed. Not in the commonly understood way, I guess. But I do get discouraged. No longer do I feel shame or condemnation in my struggles; if anything, I feel led to share the good, bad, and ugly so others won’t struggle alone. There was a time I would have never considered even for a second talking about medications and mental health and all the other taboo topics I’ve delved into especially on a publicly known source, like Running on Fumes. Absolutely not. Happily, now, this is my world and you get to read about it. Sorry not sorry.

Perhaps the labeling of people helps us fit them into proverbial boxes. Or makes diagnosis easier, more streamlined. Or something. But it can be damaging when we allow society – or well-meaning others – to label us a certain way. We’re each unique, special in our own weird way. It would be awful if we weren’t.

Which is why I think those who toy with others’ lives, their paychecks, their livelihood make it difficult for the remainder to ever establish trust. Work has proven to be a little like this. Regaining trust in the most basic way…by humanizing each person and getting to know them, personally and professionally, takes effort. Finding out their motivation, strengths, and weaknesses. Because they’ve become distrustful under a string of leadership who probably (initially) had their best interests in mind, then it went to hell in a hand basket. Time will do that to even the strongest leader. My goal is to be different, to make choices with the best of intentions but also with a plan in case the first, second, or third intention doesn’t work the way I envisioned. They deserve that from me and it should be expected.

They’re not depressed, they’re discouraged. And not all the time. Occasionally. Me, too.

__________________

I ask you –

If you were being brutally honest, how often do you feel discouraged?

Do you think people are quick to label others?

Tell me a time you overcame a tough situation.

(The post Labels first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

‘When the Going Gets Tough’

I’ve been studying a daily devotional called No More Unglued Mama Mornings. This 5-day plan may very well be one I go back to again and again. Thus far, my favorite line has been – “I can’t own this situation and let it throw me into frantic, fix-it mode. I let the consequences of their choices scream, so I don’t have to. I have what it takes to be the mom!” I am the mom! It references “immature leadership” many times and I feel so drawn to those words because if those words aren’t pointing directly at my mini, next to stubbornness, nothing else is.

Driving to the school to register my mini for kindergarten, I felt the familiar stirrings of anxiety unchecked. No need to ask why. It was quite apparent to even oblivious me. My sweet girl has been concerned about not being able to make friends, what to do if/when someone says something mean to her or her friends, and many other uncertainties concerning being social. May I remind you: she is a social butterfly and has never met a stranger so I feel this whole situation is mute. Nonetheless, I hear her fears loud and clear.

Because – big reveal – I’m having the same ones. As ridiculous as it may seem, I’m dreading having to interact with her classmate’s parents. My problem (well, a laundry list of them) is I am an observer, a flower on the wall, a sit in the back and wait for it type of girl. So my butterfly baby forces me to take center stage and jump right in. Why couldn’t I be blessed with RBF? You know, resting b**ch face. Then I could quietly blend in. Oh, and I’m a brunette which naturally makes me more approachable. Research it. Truth. I’m doomed.

the face that screams “come talk to me!”

In related news, I am already good friends with the mom of another young lady who will also be entering kindergarten at the same school and I do know the mother of a young boy in the same situation. With 3-4 kindergarten classes, I don’t know the chance they’ll all be in the same class but it did make me feel better knowing I know a few parents there.

In closing, I leave you with this: yesterday’s mess can become today’s message!

______________________

I ask you –

Are you approachable or considered standoffish?

How often do you feel unglued?

Care to share your favorite motivational statement?