Three Things!

I should be on a beach right now.

Alas, the cookie dealers are out in full force. Yes, I would like to buy some Girl Scout cookies! No, I do not have self-control!

Here I am, judging the Olympics, just me, with zero experience in anything related to ice.

Credit: via Instagram

For whatever reason, I did not consider how curlers move about on the ice. Maybe I thought they wore special grippy shoes, like track stars. Or cleats, like soccer players. Wrong. No, no, they slide/skate/propel themselves across the ice. You know, like ice skaters. Did I mention I suck at ice skating? This could be a small problem for my curling career.

Britt & I

My best friend and I go way back. 21 years or so. We don’t see each other too often despite living less than 20 mins away. Every time we say we’ll do better, months have gone by. Nonetheless, she fills my cup. From the smiles and laughter to the inside jokes, we can make up time as if none has passed.

On the drive to see her, flipping radio stations, a woman was recounting her Galentine’s date with her own set of girlfriends. She said it was nothing fancy – they ate lava cake at Chili’s, had a few drinks, and were home and in bed by 10pm. As the other radio hosts laughed, the woman said nothing beats a night with your closest friends…and lava cake.

Britt and I’s meet up didn’t include lava cake or drinks, but we both agree an early bedtime is living life to the fullest! A random statistic I just made up: men and women who cultivate close friendships outside of their partnership live longer, are happier overall, and experience better heart health. They probably have lower body weight percentages, too, due to laughing.

Now, to get her involved in curling. Possibilities.

________________

I ask you –

Have you tried the new Girl Scout cookie flavor yet?

Thoughts on Galentine’s?!

(The post Three Things! first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

What I Wanted to Say

In the discussion post assignments:

Hi, Scooter. I’d have a better response if you actually used the references properly because simply listing them at the bottom does not really fulfill the assignment. In fact, it makes it nearly impossible for the people reading your post to figure out where you got your information from: did you plagiarize it? did you make it up? is it paraphrased? No One Knows! Next time, use the references correctly. Geez, man, you’ve been writing for nearly 2 years now – if you don’t get it, you don’t need to be here. Sincerely, Fed-Up-With-Your-Lack-of-Understanding

At work:

Hi, Barbara. You see this nametag? The one that says “Boss”? Right, that means I do most of the work that gets you promoted, paid, and evaluated. That means someone had faith and confidence in my ability to lead you according to the mission. No, not the mission I made up one night in dreamland. The mission I swore to protect, a mission much bigger than we can probably imagine. So, if you could just get yourself in line, do as you’re instructed, and work your 4 hrs without fostering an environment of gossip, malicious intent, and otherwise workplace destruction, that would be really helpful to the mission and, frankly, to me. I don’t expect you to care about the same things I care about; however, if we could present a unified front, it would certainly make the day go by faster. Sincerely, The-One-in-Charge-of-Driving-this-Ship

Despite there being many other examples I could share here, it’s time I focus on something positive instead of complaining. Alas, it’s best the things I didn’t say remain unsaid. But there will definitely be a part dos. Wait for it.

——————————–

I ask you –

How quick are you to share your mind?

What would you want to say?

Please share some suggestions for holding my tongue.

(The post What I Wanted to Say first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

True Stories

In my line of work, I spend a large part of time examining footwear. No, you can’t wear flipflops in the gym. This prompted the following thought: have any studies been done on what footwear crime victims are wearing? Because I see many people wear footwear they can barely walk in let alone run, so there needs to be a standard established. Personally, I won’t wear anything I can’t run in. Because there’s no shortage of kidnapping attempts on my life.

In a bizarre string of events, the above photos tell a story of someone (someones) with a twisted sense of humor. I’m loving it. First, there was a dead hog on the side of the road. At least a week went by. Then, suddenly, there appeared a balloon stating “Feel Better” tied to its bloated carcass. No thank you. At least another week passed before mowers came through and I don’t want to speculate on what happened to the dead hog or its cheery balloon but both disappeared. Fast forward another week later. Now, there’s a homemade and painted cross with the inscription “RIP PIG”. I have no idea whose brilliant idea this was; however, I’m very much invested and feel as if maybe I should contribute with flowers or a rosary or some other memento. Why is this not a thing?

Ugh. It’s that time of year again. You know what I think? Oh, do tell, Kel. GS cookies should be sold before Christmas, before Thanksgiving even. So when we’re (I) am struggling to figure out what to gift, I can choose a simple option, like cookies. Sure, I can spend hours making treats and packaging them in cute bags, etc. but it would be awesome if I could give the gift of Girl Scouts!

I both loathe and adore Girl Scout cookie season. Send help. My willpower is garbage.

Last minute update, as of Monday:

I swear I didn’t do this! But I wanted to!

_________________________

I ask you –

Are you aware of any footwear-related true crime stories?

Should I pay my respects to the hog?

Tell me your favorite GS cookie(s)!! Caramel deLites and Lemonades!

(The post True Stories first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)