Semi-Dark Thoughts

brand, doctorate, family, living, resiliency, running, self, Suicide Awareness, tattoo

I’m a firm believer in the saying “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Typically. Usually. Sometimes. But I also think the more time you’ve spent with someone, the harder it is to overcome grief. Unpopular and slightly dark opinion: as a child, losing someone you love is actually easier because you wouldn’t have spent as much time with them and there’s more of your life to process grief. However, losing someone as an adult is more difficult because a) you’ve known them longer and b) may find it more difficult to acknowledge grief.

Sometimes the dark thought of self doubt creeps in and I have a low moment of wondering what I could possibly bring to the table. For example, I had a fantastic conversation with one of my classmates and he helped me figure out some of the stats tables I’d been struggling with. As he has an accounting background, I deferred to his expertise. But, when we hung up, I wondered why would he help me and what could I possibly contribute to the remainder of our doctoral journey. I don’t need compliments, I need purpose. So, it took some time, but I realized what I’m here for: connection. Both of the classmates I’ve befriended are a result of me reaching out, forming a connection, continuing to reply and encourage because, by doing so, it encourages me. Maybe I’m no numbers whiz and maybe I struggle with the most basic of tables and figures but the table I sit at offers connection. Figures. Get it, get it.

On a related note, I made a last minute appointment to get the tattoo I’ve been brainstorming for many months now. Even designed it myself. It’s very simple, no color, and perfect for me.

From top to bottom: The coffee cup is my own personal trademark because I rarely am not drinking coffee. The semicolon is very close to my heart as it symbolizes a pause, a breath, a short break in thoughts, and is often used for suicide awareness, of which my father took his own life when I was 10. The stack of books is twofold: 1) I love to read, always have and 2) as a lifelong learner and career college student, then books made sense. Finally, the 13.1 represents my adoration for running the half marathon distance.

As an addendum, there’s still room for the word Dr. and the 26.2 below what I currently have. Upon those completions. Despite this tattoo being my most visible, I couldn’t think of a better place because of how often I look down at my Just Run bracelet so an additional reminder of the things I love and have meaning is just beautiful.

Finally, if you’re in the Wichita Falls (or DFW area), find Josh at Factory City Tattoo. By far the best conversationalist with some really fascinating personal history and connections to the Wichita Falls area. He’s the man to make all your permanent ink desires come true!

_______________________

I ask you –

Do you have any tattoos?

If so, what hurt the worst? This was comparable to a few bee stings. One of my others was a lot more painful near my hip bone.

Tell me about something in your life that’s symbolic.

(The post Semi-Dark Thoughts first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

© 2023 Running on Fumes

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Published by Running on Fumes

Hi! As a prior United States Navy servicemember, I enjoy sharing the way it has changed my life and my deep appreciation of fitness and health. My hope is this journey will be funny, emotional, and inspiring! -Kelly

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13 thoughts on “Semi-Dark Thoughts”

  1. The tattoos on my ribs hurt the most. So much. I had an unfinished tattoo on my ribs for years before I got the nerve to have it finished.

    I like how your new tattoo is facing you because it’s for you, instead being positioned like it’s for everyone else to see. Also, very cute!

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      1. I have some old school looking bats (like the animal), one for every port we pulled into on my first deployment (seven total), and I got the bats since we pulled into Hawaii for Halloween and that’s where I got the tattoo. Later I added wind bars because the bats looked silly by themselves, and those took me years to finish.

        On the other side, I have an Italian tattoo I picked from an Italian tattoo magazine, filled in with the colors of the Italian flag (the color are facing me because I’m Italian 😁). Below that I have a big ghost ship with crossed cutlasses to look like the ESWS pin. It’s my Navy/crossing the line tattoo.

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      2. I love it! What a great way to memorialize your time in the Navy! You’ll have to share photos at some point – I’d love to see them!

        My only Navy indicator is the mention of an anchor on a shoulder tattoo I got with my best friend.

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      3. I like it! I have so many Navy tattoos, lol. My right hip is all Navy, palmetto rose for being stationed in Charleston, a martini glass for my stint in Jacksonville for rehab, mermaid for Norfolk, my rating symbol, and an anchor with waves and a lighthouse inside for Rhode Island (although I wasn’t stationed there, the Navy took me there when I was with my ex because he was still in). I have a shrimp by my right knee for San Diego, and swallows on my stomach that I got when I made chief. I think that’s it, hahaha.

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  2. I have 5. I’m waiting to run a certain goal for my 6th! The one on the back of my neck is a music note didn’t hurt. The one on my side abdomen is a flower and it HURT lol

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  3. Tats and reading: Novels featuring heroes with tattoos:

    1. “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” by Stieg Larsson
    2. “Ink and Bone” by Lisa Unger
    3. “The Tattooist of Auschwitz” by Heather Morris
    4. “Shiver” by Maggie Stiefvater
    5. “Deep Water” by L. Rambit
    6. “The Truth About Forever” by Sarah Dessen
    7. “Tattooed Hearts” by Mika Jolie
    8. “The Night Circus” by Erin Morgenstern
    9. “The Bone Season” by Samantha Shannon
    10. “Clockwork Angel” by Cassandra Clare

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