Sometimes I think I may have – gasp – too much self control. It’s a thing because I have it! In moments of silence, I find myself pleading to say what needs to be said. Yet I keep my mouth shut, the words I need to say staying locked inside the confides of my inner self. Tragic, really.
In all my years – all three and some odd decades – I only recall ever getting screaming mad once. I didn’t even know who she was that yelled but it sure sounded like me. Shrugging. I’m not a “yeller”. There’s no need to raise my voice because my tone, inflection, and stare will tell you more than my volume will. Besides. Loud noises startle me.
I realized I started this post many weeks ago but didn’t know where to go with it. Do I talk about being a not-very-angry person? Quickly I nixed that idea because I can get angry as much as the next person. Do I share how some people have an uncanny ability to make me roll my eyes at their ideocracy? Nah, I’m just as guilty of being the idiot. So what do I do with all this frustration? Ding ding ding. I know!
This is why I blog. And run. Mostly run. That wine cabinet is really missing the mark lately. I digress.
In my humble opinion, it comes down to picking your battles and knowing when you’re fighting all the wrong ones. Glass half full mentality. Instead of seeing it as a setback perhaps it’s an opportunity. Within a matter of days, many obstacles have found their way directly into my path of least resistance. No one enjoys feeling like someone is upset with them. That being said, personal responsibility goes a long way. For example, if you want someone to invite you to dinner, maybe you should mention it in a tactful way or – better yet – make the first move yourself by inviting them! Hello, rocket science. Or, instead of standing up beating your own drum about what’s right and wrong in your tiny sphere of the world, might it be a little more helpful to steer someone toward the truth? Please note I said “the truth” vice “your truth.” Though if you’re on a high horse, I have serious reservations about you coming down any time soon. At least get your facts straight before your foolishness is broadcasted.
Suffice to say maybe I’m just grumpy because I miss my mini. The month on/off schedule was easier to accept because I knew it would only be 4 weeks until I saw her again. Just enough time to catch up on a bunch of random things and maybe read 2 books. 10 weeks is forever. 11 or 12 is even worse. Yes, I know it’s hard on her dad when she’s not there so don’t pick a fight with me on the “what about him”. With school coming up, it will be the hardest on him it’s probably ever going to be. Empathy is real.
For now, my pity party has only room for one.
_______________________________
I ask you –
Are you a person who yells when angry?
What’s been your toughest battle to “pick”?
Now seating: Party of One. I say again: Party of One.
Running on Fumes 