critical thinking – Running on Fumes

Managing one’s expectations is a sincere request. However, in order to accomplish this, it requires removing all emotion. Emotion clouds rational thinking. Further, I believe this may be nearly impossible for many because they don’t know what their expectations are! It’s difficult to manage something you don’t understand, or don’t know what the phrase means, much less requires to attain.

Example (paraphrased from actual conversation, all names removed to protect the innocent)

A man spent several years in and out of the hospital with his dying spouse. Suffice to say it was not a daily journey, but probably more inpatient as the illness progressed. He became bitter to the church he attended as no pastoral leadership ever called, came by, etc. This turned him off to big churches, and now he attends a presumably much smaller church. He made mention of great tithing to the previous church yet also conceded this should not mean anything (his mention implies the opposite).

I heard the following expectations: I am hurt, I want to be chased/noticed, I want my giving acknowledged, I am upset for not being contacted during this rough period in my life.

Let’s break this down further.

Anger towards a team of 5 (??) when I find it unlikely other churchgoers were not inquiring. I bet they were but because a select few did not, then anger expanded to everyone. Reality: pastoral leadership teams are human and cannot be reasonably expected to contact every single person in the church. If that’s the expectation, then you’ll most likely be disappointed. However, the body of the church, the very people who attend, step in and step up to help others. Being noticed is not necessarily from a leadership perspective. You can find peace in being noticed by peers.

Let’s shift the expectation.

Did you ask for help and were rejected? Did you share your struggles with others? Did you name your needs? Perhaps you’re hurt by what you didn’t get rather than noticing what was given. If this is your expectation, then some soul searching may be a great idea.

Tithing: it was clearly stated how the man gave generously. Somehow I bet he put his name all over that envelope, aligning with the desire to be noticed. Granted, there are other reasons to include the name – tax write off, proof of spending, etc. But to bring it up in the course of this conversation implies a pronounced expectation that a tithing church member should receive extra benefits. Does this mean the ones who do not give are lower on the list of salvation? Surely not. Admittedly, the man stated it should not matter yet it obviously did to him. An angry man doth not a cheerful tither make.

Expectation shift.

Give because you want to. Give because you can. Giving out of coercion, guilt, or the intentional or unintentional desire to gain something later is manipulative. If money is the problem, give time, give encouragement, give a helping hand. If you think dollar bills get you closer to God, you probably have a very wrong opinion of Him.

No one is immune to doing the right thing. There’s no blanket pass, or unlimited cards which will condone indecent behavior. Just be a good human, and study the word “expectations”. Then apply it.

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I ask you –

What does expectations and the management of them mean to you?

(The post Lifetime Immunity to Accountability first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

Critical thinking skills – the ones that seem to be underutilized.

Painting = lots of thinking

Perhaps I’ve mentioned it before: my issue with people who leave their car door open when they pump gas. Not only is it lazy, it’s incredibly dangerous because seconds save lives. If you don’t have an extra second to close your car door, then you’ve effectively given someone who may want to harm you or steal your vehicle the extra second they need to do so. And this isn’t one of those “living my life scared” things. It’s simply a critical thinking opportunity.

Another example is when people are cooking. The ones who leave the cabinets wide open under the premise they might need back in the cabinet are the ones who smash their heads against the cabinet and potentially have a catastrophic kitchen accident. It’s lazy and dangerous.

My final example of critical thinking is also cooking related. Once something is cooked, it needs a place to go, like a plate or serving vessel. Usually. If you haven’t the forethought of what to do with the cooked item(s), then you’re wasting your own time, being lazy, and causing unnecessary chaos. This is why it’s important to be prepared. At least have a plan!

Lastly, a lovely woman heard me speak from the stage and approached me afterwards regarding not what I was speaking on but my manner of speaking. She asked if I’d always known I was gifted in public speaking. I was flattered but it had never occurred to me to analyze how long I’ve been comfortable speaking in front of a crowd. Since I was a child. She also mentioned the program Stories from the Stage, a show she watches regularly and admires. As she encouraged me to share my own story with the world, I began to entertain the idea. Maybe one day.

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I ask you –

How prepared are you when cooking?

Have you heard of the show Stories from the Stage?

Rate your critical thinking skills! A 10, definitely.

(The post Life Requires Skills first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)