Upward Spiral

doctorate, living, self

To say the past 6 weeks have been difficult is an understatement. And it wasn’t the entire 6 weeks of life, just this course. I’m way out of my comfort zone in the land of statistics and quantitative research. Also very concerned I’ll have the same professor next course. I don’t believe I’ve ever encountered such a large number of unhelpful people.

For example, I reached out to several classmates for their take on a certain assignment where I was struggling beyond belief. Nothing. Nada. No response. No acknowledgement whatsoever. The professor was only slightly more helpful and that was after I basically begged for help. Talk about disheartening. Yes, I recognize a PhD program is very lonely. However, where is the people aspect? What has happened to make us so closed off and unwilling or unable to simply acknowledge another? Clearly, that’s rhetorical.

Like I said, it was rough. At one point, I began to spiral into the line of thinking that maybe the program wasn’t for me, that I needed a break, that maybe my best wasn’t good enough, even what was the bare minimum I could get away with. I was struggling. However, the power of perspective is just that – incredibly powerful. I worshipped with my loudest voice, I sat alone in thought, and I was reminded of what I needed to do. Keep trying, Kel.

P.S. Eventually a fellow classmate did respond. And, by eventually, I mean more than a week later. On the bright side, there was a response.

________________________

I ask you –

How’s your life treating you? Do tell!

What is your go-to event/activity/self help reasoning when things get tough?

Tell me something good you have going on!

(The post Upward Spiral first appeared here at Running on Fumes.)

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Hi! As a prior United States Navy servicemember, I enjoy sharing the way it has changed my life and my deep appreciation of fitness and health. My hope is this journey will be funny, emotional, and inspiring! -Kelly

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6 thoughts on “Upward Spiral”

  1. People really suck at communicating these days. Like how hard is it to acknowledge someone?

    Life is crazy. Busy with school. Busy with work. Trying to find time to get our house ready to sell. Trying to find time to renovate the van. Trying to find time to workout to lose the weight I’ve gained from not working out. THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE HOURS IN THE DAY OR MORE DAYS IN THE WEEK! 🤣

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      1. I’m quitting my current job at the end of January and starting a remote internship. We’ll be moving back into the van. Might start a different blog for our adventures. I just have not been in the mood to write. I sat down to write a post a few months ago, and I stared at the screen, lol.

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  2. Crap! I just remembered that you did reach out to me; however, I don’t think I was too familiar with your statistic topic. I hate blaming the pandemic, but I feel like this has negatively changed how we communicate. During my grad school days, I remember participating in unofficial study groups for most of my courses. From my experience, PhD land is loney, but I didn’t notice the loneliness until we finished all of our courses. In fact, I enjoyed the coursework part of the PhD (years 1-2.5) because I could interact with my classmates on a regular basis. Maybe being in the “popular clique” helped with those interactions. Actually, that part was a blessing and a curse. A curse because our apartment was the hangout spot. If possible, maybe setting up a recurring study session with 1-3 other folks in your course might help. If it’s recurring, it might not come off as this person is only reaching out because they need help.
    On to your questions.
    How’s your life treating you? Meh, I’m still struggling with my back issue although it is improving. Of course, it’s not improving as quickly as I would like it to.
    What is your go-to event/activity/self help reasoning when things get tough? The nearest bar although I might need to start finding other activities. 😉
    Tell me something good you have going on! Nothing really.

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    1. I hope you didn’t think I was calling you out in my post – it wasn’t my intention. Honestly, it was a long shot because I knew our study areas were vastly different. At the time, I think I was looking for a shoulder to cry on 🤣

      Happy to hear your back is improving despite the slowness!

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