Restart / Addressing Fear

How often does fear hold you back? Fear of the known, fear of the unknown, fear within ourselves.

I love this:

I won’t forget the first time I read the above from A. A. Milne. My best friend had sent me a letter in boot camp and she included that quote. I cried my eyes out. At the time, I was grasping for anything to make me feel like the days weren’t so loud. There was so much noise night and day, inside my head, in every room, even outside was a constant barrage of voices. Endless is the best way to describe it. As someone who enjoys alone time, I was struggling. Reading her words calmed my soul. On the days I couldn’t remember what anything except Navy indoctrination was, I held tight to what she had written. Spoiler Alert: I survived.

Interestingly (or not), I began this post yesterday before I ever knew how today would feel. Granted I do write when the mood hits me and not as a job with a deadline, but somehow my heart always finds what I’m needing when I need it. Much like when your body is starving for a certain nutrient, it tells you what is needed. Side note: during a certain time of the month I crave peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Mainly the peanut butter. I do not like peanut butter. Point made.

(pause in this writing while multiple four-letter words spill from my lips because I pressed the back arrow and nothing had been saved so all original writing below this paragraph was lost) sigh

Had to take a break to settle my mind

Let me recap what you didn’t read:

It seems I have an issue with victimizing myself. Wow, it sounds even worse in written form. As one with rescuer tendencies, my knack of swooping in to take pain, pressure, or hurt from another has done me very few favors. I’m hindering my own ability to be a well-rounded friend, spouse, and mother. What lessons are learned if I fix it before it becomes a problem? How will my munchkin learn important life skills if I’m always ready to save her? Same of every relationship. Conflict is inevitable; suffering is a choice. In this grand triangle of thought, the persecutor removes power from a person who then becomes the victim. The rescuer saves the day by restoring peace and placing power back into the hands of the victim which encourages the persecutor to continue doing what he/she has done before because there are no consequences.

It would serve us well to remember this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” My own reactions to another’s choices are simply my own. I can’t be MADE to feel anything; what I feel is an emotional reaction.

And, finally, probably the same question you, my loyal dear reader, ask every time you embark on this blog, what does this have to do with fitness?

I don’t know; I just like to ramble. Kidding! Let me tie this back into fear. What makes us uncomfortable we shy away from. Something that causes us physical, emotional, or mental pain is not readily accepted. Deciding to make a change is incredibly difficult. But to obtain the changes we want to see in our lives, we have to accept difficulty and trust that it will lead us down the right path.

Health isn’t just a set of numbers on a scale or a score on a test. It’s our emotional well-being, our soul searching, our desire to make a change no one else can see.


I ask you –

What role do you play in the triangle?

Have you ever desired to make a change?

Share your favorite quote!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s