I’ve been thinking about all the ways life has changed for me since this time last year. Occasionally reflection can prove beneficial so I took a trip down memory lane. Short of sounding like a pessimistic, ungrateful child, some things have been incredibly difficult while others have seen marginal improvement. I’ve completed a few very hard things, watched some people walk out of my life, and continued on a journey of growth. I’m reasonably certain no one close to me reads this anymore which is both saddening and self-fulfilling.
Prior to a bunch of different events, I believed counting on others was what came naturally to us as humans and everyone needed a solid group of people to hold this role for them. Not to sound jaded now, but I believe I was wrong. Incredibly wrong. As my circle has essentially diminished, I find myself with even more time to think. 4 hours a day wasn’t enough apparently. My dreams are overcome with scenarios that never played out or words I should’ve said. But I don’t live life with regrets. However, if this is my time for growth, I didn’t expect it to all come so quickly. A little warning would have been nice!
Perhaps we all get stuck in a bucket of suck. Made up that terminology all by myself. There was some infamous person who coined the phrase “embrace the suck”. No thanks, buddy, I won’t be embracing it, but I will let it roll over me like the lesson I’m assuming it is supposed to be. What kind of lesson is suck though? Wallowing in self-pity did nothing to help so I’m on to Plan B, C, D or whatever letter I eventually end up at. As hard as it is to connect to people, you would think the more the merrier. Guess not.
The moral of the story is sometimes your journey may truly suck, but it’s not over. The end.
Kidding. The end is nigh but not just yet. Maybe I’m the worst advice giver in the world – truthfully, I’m waiting for an advice giver to arrive in my life and bring forth wisdom. Move over, I’m going to take up a lot of space. It amazes me the reliance we place on others and how their disappearance can be felt so intensely. If karma exists, you win. In the mean time, I’ll spend my days seeking growth. And you should do the same.
______________________
I ask you –
Is karma real? How do you know?
Embrace the suck – best advice or just dumb?
Tell me what growth looks like for you.
Running on Fumes 